From a very young age, I knew I was introverted, but the word “introvert” wasn’t a term used. I was called “antisocial,” “shy,” “backward,” “reticent,” or even “misanthropic." No matter how many times I forced myself to speak up or start a conversation, it fell flat and I felt fake. The first time I heard someone else say that they felt the same, I finally didn’t feel like there was something the matter with me. I didn’t feel like I was “the weird kid who doesn't talk.”
Recently, more blogs, articles, and reels on social media are getting attention and bringing introverts out of their comfort zones, whether we like it or not. These influencers and bloggers are shedding some light on just how amazing we actually are. These influencers are usually giving some insights on the characteristics of introverted people, whether in a funny way or serious one. They post reels or videos and share advice on how to interact with introverts, what introverts are thinking and feeling, and why introverts are fans of quiet solitude instead of loud crowds. And as a fellow introvert myself, I can confirm that, yes, please text me before you call because I won’t answer.
In case you missed it, here are some of the qualities that make introverts unique and prove that there is a lot more to us than what many people assume:
1. We are self-reflective. We learn from our mistakes because we take the time to think about where we went wrong. We may write about a specific incident and ask ourselves critical questions about where something may have gone awry. For example, after my divorce, I wrote a lot about the years leading up to and during the end of my marriage. I concluded that I had just as much responsiblity in my relationship as my former husband. I worked hard at figuring out how to remedy the mistakes I made, and won’t make again. I remind myself each day of those things I have learned and practice them in the relationships I have currently.
2. We are imaginative. We use our skills in solitude to write, draw, design, or create something that brings us joy and could bring others joy. I wrote the bulk of my memoir while I was in an exorbitant amount of pain from the end of my marriage. Yet when I look back, it was the most productive I had been in the writing process. I sent out submissions to publishers and was accepted to a few literary journals. I wrote up and revised the first draft of my manuscript. When I was completely alone and single, I brimmed with so many words and stories that I couldn’t wait to tell them. These creative outlets also help us process things that happen and creates a more solid understanding.
3. We are empathetic. Many times, empathy is part of the package when you are more introverted. We are excellent listeners and usually do not try to give unsolicited advice to people going through a rough patch, unless they specifically ask for it. We feel other people’s pain and only want their pain to go away too. We are loyal and remain non-judgmental, allowing our friends or family to use us as a sounding board as someone who cares about what they are going through.
4. We are deep thinkers. We like talking about subjects that matter, not small-talk issues like the weather or gossip. When those types of conversations end, we feel awkward and are not sure what else to say, which makes the other person feel awkward as well. We also feel fake when we are forced into a situation where small talk is the only commonality, perhaps in a situation where we are meeting people for the first time. But get us on something that is meaningful and we will open up like a lotus flower. We don’t normally like talking about ourselves unless it is relevant to something in the bigger scheme of things, like a relatable story or experience we’ve had that could benefit someone else. I write these blogs because I hope to help others who may have similar feelings or who may be going through similar situations as I have.
5. We focus internally rather than what’s going on around us. Though we may not seem like we are paying attention, we are. During a meeting or a conversation amongst a group of people, we probably won’t add our thoughts to the conversation, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t taking everything in and reflecting about it internally. We don’t need to be the center of attention and actually despise that. We may add our opinions later after most people leave, or send an email to our boss with our thoughts and insights, concerns or opinions. People underestimate introverts because we are quiet; what most people don’t realize is that we are intelligent, deep thinkers who are doing more behind the scenes than it would appear.
6. We are independent. We like doing things by ourselves and prefer reading, writing, walking in nature, or other quiet and solitary activities versus ones in a large group setting. We may seem boring, but if anything came from the Pandemic of 2020, isolation for introverts was probably the best thing that could have happened. I thrived! It opened up new worlds and activities to try, all without leaving the comfort of our homes. I signed up for a health coaching course and personal training classes; I started a website for the first time; I wrote my first fifteen blog posts. And I tried out a slew of new recipes, some of which I still make to this day.
I used to wish I was more outgoing and talkative so I could have more friends and be popular. It was hard for me to make friends and I only had, on average, one “best” friend at a time. I found that when I was more outgoing in my pursuits to fit in, I just felt exhausted, irritated, and wanted to go to a quiet place to recharge my battery. For the longest time, I couldn’t understand why. Now that introverts are getting more attention on the positive qualities about them, I am proud to be an introvert and I wouldn’t want to be anyone else. If you are a fellow introvert, I hope you know of your talents and gifts and can appreciate who you are and what you bring to the world.
