There is a mountain of research that indicates a definitive mind-body connection and therefore, what we think we become. That means all the stress and negativity we take in daily can be concerning. Sometimes it’s helpful to identify what our thoughts really are, not the emotions attached to them. Feelings aren’t who we are; they are extensions of our thoughts, and though they may not feel like it, we do have a lot more control over our thoughts than we might think. 

Identifying our thoughts and why we might be having them is the first step to overcoming overwhelm. When we do, we can treat the thoughts for what they are: images or intentions that we cultivate to subconsciously protect ourselves. 

After we know where the thoughts stem from, we can take action steps to change them so that they are no longer so influential to our minds. A few reminders can help. I suggest writing these down and placing them in a high-trafficked area so you can see them frequently. I have mine hung on my home office wall so I see them every day.

1. Stop trying to figure it all out right now. There is no rule that says you have to find out all the answers to life’s pending questions right now. Or even years from now. Sometimes the answers come unexpectedly, sooner rather than later, or not at all. Because we always want to control our lives, we expect to know all the information or answers up front. However, we don’t, and we are not supposed to. I’ve found that with time, all my worries and uncertainties have abated and sometimes completely disappear. So just remember that you don’t have to know everything right now. It is okay to allow things to happen in God’s or the universe’s time.

2. Pick one small thing that you can do. I mentioned above that often we have no control over the circumstances in our lives. But we do have control over some things. Choose one thing that you can control and can do immediately or very soon. Maybe you are feeling unhappy with your current job. You can update your resume and upload it to one or two job posts you find that may be more suitable for you. Maybe the news is making you feel depressed and overwhelmed. Stop reading what comes in your inbox or on your social media feed. Unfollow, turn off notifications, or put your phone on Do Not Disturb during the day. I have gotten in the habit of immediately deleting the posts that pop up in my inbox that I don’t want to read or that wouldn’t be healthy for my state of mind.

3. Ground yourself with something sensory. Sometimes, our thoughts are so overwhelming, they spiral out of control, and we convince ourselves the world is ending tomorrow. To feel grounded or back on solid earth, it can help to use something sensory, like smelling a candle, feeling a soft blanket or pet, listening to relaxing music, or walking on solid ground to help you feel stable again. I often sit on my couch with my cat and feel her weight, her soft fur, and her gentle purring against my body. Other times I want to get outside and breathe in the world around me, notice my feet against the ground, and absorb my surroundings. It helps clear my mind from what is overwhelming me. 

4. Reset Your Nervous System. This one is going to sound crazy, but sometimes, if you take some mini escapes from technology, people, and all things overwhelming, it could help calm your nervous system. Just like our phones and computers need a reset once in a while, so do we. We aren’t machines or robots, so why wouldn’t we need to rest, relax and recharge. I challenge you to leave your phone in a different room on silent. Eliminate any other distractions (yes, even your pets) and simply lay on your back, close your eyes or stare off into the netherworld. Just be. Lay there until you feel relaxed. Try to feel the rhythm of your body and your heartbeat. This one is sort of like meditation. The thoughts you want to escape are still going to enter your mind, and just like in meditation, that’s okay. But keep coming back to your physical body, breathing, and notice it press into the floor. 

5. Check your Self-Talk. I have a habit of telling myself that I’m inadequate in a number of ways. If I make a mistake at work, I hear my inner critic say, “You are such an idiot.” If I say something hurtful to my partner, the voice says, “You are never going to be loved.” When I look back on my life, I hear, “You’ve done nothing. You’ve accomplished nothing.” These thoughts in our heads are not true, helpful, or kind and you wouldn’t say them to someone you care about. I know for some of us that can be difficult since we have trouble loving, or even liking, ourselves. It’s funny how we can be kind and caring toward others but to ourselves (the mind, spirit and body that has endured years of grief, loss, and sadness) we are our own abusers. Getting into the habit of changing those critical thoughts to something less extreme can change the way you feel about yourself. I always think of the quote by Aristotle, “We are what we repeatedly do.” I also ask the questions, “Is this 100% fact? Is this thought necessary? Is it helpful in any way?” The answers are always no. 

6. Let it be Low-Power Day. Here’s another weird one, but when I first heard about it, it was probably my favorite. With our phones and technology, sometimes we turn the battery saver on so they last longer. They don’t emit as much energy and the battery lasts longer. Why not do the same with us? Set a day aside where you don’t have to go to work. Make it very clear that you will NOT do anything that day: no dishes, no chores, no exercise, nothing. You just camp out on the couch, read, or watch something uplifting on TV. I wouldn't recommend social media as even funny cat videos can segue into not-so-happy things. Make sure you surround yourself with only positive things and things that make you happy. Spend the day resting your body and mind. Don’t think about the to-do lists and all the things you should be doing. This is your day to just relax. I found trouble with this one since it’s hard for me not to do something “productive,” but I look back, and I think how amazing I felt.

I hope these tips were helpful for giving you some ideas on how to reset and recharge your overstimulated nervous system. If you feel that incorporating all of this is too overwhelming (that’s the last thing they should have made you feel) then just start with the one that you feel would be the most feasible for you. Later, you can try another one and so on, then choose what works and what doesn’t. The most important piece of advice I can give is to trust yourself. You know what you need more than anyone. Listen to that instinctual voice that tells you what to do.