Tuesday, 07 December 2021 01:41

The Wheel of Time

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It never ceases to amaze me how quickly things can change. Over the course of a year, you could be living in an entirely different state. In just a month you could be working at a different job. In a week, you could welcome someone new into your life. And in mere moments you could lose someone you love. Your life is flipped upside down. Anyone who has ever lost someone they love knows exactly how this feels.

Time is constantly pulling us along, always changing, always putting new opportunities and new people into our lives. But it’s also taking things away that we might hold onto tightly. We all have these pictures of what “the ideal” is, the myths we tell ourselves when we find the perfect job, the perfect mate. Attachments are dangerous, yet they are necessary.

Relationships can be great one minute, but in the next, a miscommunication, a disconnect, and you are left with a broken heart and bruised ego. Some would say it’s better not to love at all to protect your heart and avoid the pain. Others would say you’re missing out on one of the most life-altering experiences you’ll ever have.  

Love, like anything that’s risky, is worth it a million times over, even if it may mean pain and grief. When someone asks me would I go back in time and spend it with my ex-husband, I tell them yes, I would. Not because I want to experience the pain again, but because that pain was necessary to make me a stronger and more confident person. The pain helped me realize who I am and that I am a survivor. There are many parts of my relationship that I wish I could redo, but I don’t regret the relationship. Because of him, I learned that I was stronger than I ever thought possible. No relationship should be regretful as long as you learn something from it.

When I catch myself thinking that I’ll never be ready for love again, I think of the lyrics from “I Hope you Dance:”

Time is a wheel in constant motion, always rolling us along,

Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.

What will you think about when you are 90 years old? Will it be how many lovers hurt you and how much you wanted revenge? Or will you think about how those lovers brought joy, happiness, and excitement, however briefly. They taught you things that you might not have otherwise learned. Regardless if it’s romantic love or not, grief is the price we pay for love and it is 100% worth the time, the pain, and the heartache.

We are reminded daily of change. The sun that always rises after the darkness. The rain that always stops after a downpour. A child who always gets back up if she falls. Love is always changing, evolving, growing, and sometimes, dying. Though I do think about loving someone and potentially losing it again, I’m willing to take the risk. I choose to love someone because I have a lot of love inside to give.

Our choices in life are sometimes not our own. But when they are, choose the riskier path. When you fall, choose to stand up. When you fear, choose to love. When you criticize, choose to be compassionate. When time pulls you in a direction you don’t expect, choose to make the most of it.

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