On a recent podcast I listened to, the narrator mentioned the four quadrants of time management. The things that we deem urgent and important are categorized in each of these quadrants ranging from high to low. Quadrant one is reserved for those things as urgent and important. Quadrant two is for not urgent but important items. Quadrant three is urgent but not important. And quadrant four is not urgent and not important.
Guess what quadrants we spend most of our time in? Quadrants one, three, and four. This is because we have to complete tasks for our career or job to keep us employed (quadrant one), and we have to have the pleasurable stuff (quadrant four) where we get with items that give us instant gratification like watching Netflix or shopping. After I thought about it, I realized what this meant. Most of our personal goals are important to us, but there is no deadline or someone breathing down our necks to finish; therefore, it isn’t urgent.
I had to take a closer look into the reasons for my slow-down, and I had to be 100% honest with myself. In doing so, I got useful insight into the reasons behind the stall in productivity and discovered most of it was my own doing. Below I share a list of everything I felt kept me from being in quadrant two when it came to writing my book.
What Keeps me from Writing:
My own pervasive and incessant thoughts; questioning my own skills; missing out on things with friends or family; fear of other’s opinions; fear of failing; fear of succeeding; fear of hurting someone; not spending time with my partner; needing to clean the house; laundry that can’t wait; places I want to go; money I want to spend; money I want to save; lack of control; worry over the present and future; jealousy of success in others; holding myself to a high standard; neediness; wanting to be liked; embarrassment of my life’s challenges; judgment; indecisiveness; directionless; my cat sleeping on the keyboard; politics; natural disasters; TV shows; new seasons of shows; movies; text messages; phone calls; social media; my past; the future; books; YouTube; emails; vanity; exercise; the inevitability of aging; impatience; self-sabotage.
By compiling this list, it is clear that the majority of the items are brought on by me and only me. As a woman, I think we get the short end of the stick when it comes to prioritizing ourselves and our goals as compared to men. We are conditioned to put others first, take care of things for others or household responsibilities while our male counterparts get to enjoy going outside with their buddies, playing video games, and other things that don’t require as much responsibility. But I can change this pattern of thinking to find solutions to the above obstacles I’ve mentioned. It comes down to implementing the solutions and taking steps to overcome them.
I can turn off my phone so I don’t get notifications or get tempted to check email or social media. I can manage my time by not feeling like I need to do all the chores and all the errands all at once. I can have a conversation with the people in my life and outline what is important to me and garner their support. I can allow my body and mind to just enjoy the process of writing and not expect anything other than the writing itself as an outcome.
What is keeping you from accomplishing your goals? Begin by being self-aware of all the things we do or don’t do to make quadrant two more of a priority. The more we become self-aware of our own setbacks and self-defeating actions, the more we can see the solutions and take the steps to overcome them. I encourage you to write down your “What keeps me from fill in the blank” list too, so you can get back to reaching your goals.
