This is a common experience we all probably have had. In hindsight, the person we once were was so different, glamorous, more exciting. We wish we could go back to a time where we thought we were living the best part of our life only to realize that at that time, that past version of ourselves wished things were different too. It’s a catch 22. We want to get back to our “glory days” with our twenty-something bodies or our amazing girlfriend or boyfriend, or to the feeling of freedom and carefree lifestyles. Longing and yearning for the past can cause us unnecessary harm and stress, which make it all worse. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, stressing about getting gray hair makes you get gray hair!
Time and the passing of it can’t be stopped. The only way to have some semblance of control over time is in how we perceive it and the circumstances it brings. We can practice gratitude for those things in our life we have now and see the good that goes along with them. To put it in perspective, in another ten or twenty years, we are going to look back on our current life and wish we were where we are right now!
“I did not expect this, but I accept this. Maybe everything is still okay.”
I used to write mantras and reminders like this on post it notes and stick them to my bathroom mirror so I could see them every day. They were cues to get my mind right, change my negative thoughts to more meaningful, productive ones, and foster a healthy relationship with myself and my current situation. The only thing I could change was how I perceive the present. This is the path I am on and it looks different from the path I was on ten years ago. It’s not wrong, it may not be right. It just is.
Though it’s hard not to reminisce about things that happened or people who were in your life without wishing to go back in time, we can always be thankful that we were able to experience those times, places, and people in our lives. I believe that there is a season for everything and a reason it happens at certain times and not others. Looking back and making an effort to feel blessed to have had the opportunities helps keep things top of mind. Not everyone may have the opportunities that we did.
Finally, we have to remember that our life isn’t over just because we are older, grayer, or a little slower. We still can make new memories, try new things, learn new skills and take in new information regardless of what age or stage of life we are in. My dad is proof of this. He is reading more books now than he ever has in his 70 years of life and taking in more information than all of secondary school and college combined. As long as we have the motivation, we have new opportunities that open like gifts before us.
Our present lives are still full of surprises and unexpected blessings. We just have to change our mind set and those pesky thoughts that like to tell us otherwise. Don’t look back on a memory and regret it because the person you once were is gone. Or feel sad about a time when you were once with someone you aren’t with anymore. Nothing or no one should be allowed to rob you of the joy you got out of that experience. It’s your memory and it was a special and sacred time for you, regardless of where you are in life now.
