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“Fill your life with experiences, not things. Have stories to tell, not stuff to show.” 

If I only made this much money, then I could afford a house and then I would finally have some consistency in my life. If only I could get promoted, then I could take my family on the trip I promised them. If only I could find the perfect mate and get married, then I would be satisfied and my life would be complete. If only I made more money, then I would finally be happy.

The above “if only” scenarios are good examples of the hedonic treadmill that humans tend to get stuck running on. According to a Positive Psychology article, hedonic adaptation is the theory in which people generally return to an original state of happiness after something they thought was going to create an eternal sense of joy for them fails to deliver. It becomes hedonic adaptation.

Once in a while, it can be reaffirming to travel back in time to a point in our life that seemed devastatingly hard in order to see a clearer version of just how far we’ve come. After all, progress would not happen without pain. Growth would not happen without suffering.  

The end of the year brings with it reflections and a look back into the past. I have been thinking back to how much inward progress I have made since my divorce in 2021. This isn’t meant to be a humble brag, only a promise of hope to anyone who has or is going through what seemed like the worst time of your life. These “worst times” changed me for the better. What follows is meant to be inspiring for anyone experiencing the kind of devastation that makes them question its ending and wondering if they will ever see the light at the end of the tunnel.