Displaying items by tag: healing journey

When I was growing up, I preferred being outside playing in the dirt or woods to being inside learning how to cook and bake. I liked watching TV and the shows I watched inspired stories and games that I managed to wrangle my younger sister and brother into playing. I rebelled against the “domestic” chores my grandma asked me to do -- laundry, clean my room, and learn how to make meals. I preferred stuffed animals to baby dolls. I wanted to be outside, in the grass and dirt. I wanted to be “one of the boys” like my dad or cousin. 

But as I got older, it was an unspoken suggestion that my desire to be outside getting dirty was “unlady like” and that I needed to be quiet in school and church, and wear more feminine attire. I needed to be more of a girl. Always a people pleaser, I internalized those subliminal suggestions and I tried my best to conform, especially when I was out in public or with my grandmas. I could be more outgoing at my house, but had to reign in my emotions when I was in school, in church, or anywhere out in public.

There is a story in the Buddhist tradition about a clay statue of the Buddha in a monastery in Thailand. Over the years, it was protected in the monastery from outside invaders. One day while it was being relocated, one of the monks spotted a crack in the clay. When the monk looked closer, he noticed that underneath the clay there was solid gold. The clay statue had been made of gold the whole time!