Displaying items by tag: spiraling thoughts

Since I was a teenager, I have had a bad case of monkey mind, the term Buddhists give to pretty much all human beings who can’t focus on one single strain of thought for longer than 30 seconds. My thoughts stem from impending end of the world scenarios that were brought on by any matter of things, to what I’m going to wear to work the next day. The apocalyptic fears manifest in my mind with alarming visual scenes that come from my overactive imagination. They could be triggered by something outward that’s happening to society at large, or something internal that is happening in my life personally, like loss of a person or job.

The resulting side effects send me spiraling into such a state of disarray that I feel like I’m going to implode. I go through every worst-case scenario, starting from where I am in life now and leaping like a time traveler to ten years in the future. I toss and turn at night and feel anxious and stressed. I convince myself that death is inevitable and I won’t last another month. Finally, the thoughts get so overwhelming that I have no choice but to do something about them.